All That I'm Living For, All That I'm Dying For (REBOOT)
by t8kmybreathaway
Summary: Emma's life is changed in the most horrible way when vampires attack her home and family. Two hundred years later she meets Regina, her great great great grand niece's companion and true love. Will Emma finally get a chance to have the happiness she craves? Or will she lose it all again?


Author: t8kmybreathaway

Title: All That I'm Living For, All That I'm Dying For

Fandom: OUaT

Pairing: Swan/Queen

Summary: Emma's family is ripped from her but she finds a second chance at eternal love.

Disclaimer: Clearly not mine, but I enjoy playing with the characters now and again.

A/N: Yeah fourth fic, I know. What can I say my muse is toying with me as of late and I actually have time to sit and write? I've got several more fics up my sleeve, not sure when those will get posted but they're around. As always please comment :D and thank you for everyone who does!

A/N2: This is a reboot of the original. A lot of people were kind of confused about the relationships so I decided to start over.

,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸-*-,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸

Emma held her eyes shut loosely in the warm sunlight relaxing as the soft spring breeze blew her hair around her face and carried the scent of the rose garden to her nose. She took a deep breath and lifted her foot onto the balcony railing and then the other leaning slightly forward; her hips resting against the banister. She stretched her arms out wide and it felt as if she were hovering in the air. The light turquoise colored dress billowing around her ankles freely.

A gentle knock at her bed chamber door alerted her to the presence of another and she carefully detached herself from the balcony to answer. "You may enter," she said in a sing song manner a smile upon her sweet young face.

"There you are, my darling daughter," her father grinned with a glint in his eyes. He stated holding out his arms for her to enter them. Emma smiled and did as she was beckoned to do and her father's large frame wrapped around her smaller one. She fit into him perfectly her head resting just under his black haired covered chin. Tonight was a special night; Emma would be attending the ball at the Duke of Devonshire's palace being held in honor of his son, Demetrius. The Duke's son will be choosing a bride soon and although Alasdair hated to ask his daughter to play the delegate she had never wished to be hidden away from the world. She had accepted his request easily because he never asked her of anything and always gave her whatever her heart had desired. "I have something for you," he spoke gently.

"Father," her brows rose as she pulled away and took a small red velvet covered box from his jacket. He opened it with a smile playing on his thin lips. The ring was a beautiful gold knotted band that was intricately woven. It was simple and she could wear it with any of her jewelry. She gasped. "It's lovely," she said peering up at him. "Thank you, father," she said and he gave her a light squeeze with another fatherly hug.

"I would give you anything," he said softly pulling back to look at his beautiful daughter. "You deserve everything and so much more."

Emma blushed lightly and rested her cheek to his breast. "You had best not speak that way, else Helena get jealous."

"You are my youngest daughter, my love for you knows no bounds," he replied and reluctantly pulled away. He had only ever wanted one child to begin with, but being the man he was he would never have uttered a word of his feelings to another living soul. He simply tolerated Helena."Your mother and the maids will be in shortly to help you get ready," he held her hands in his own bringing them to his lips and giving her knuckles a light kiss. "I shall see you tonight," he finished and left.

The door opened wide revealing a similar looking older woman with light golden hair where pieces whitened around her temples. Blue eyes shined with pride as arms circled around Emma. The younger blonde sighed deeply and breathed in her mother's familiar scent. "I am so proud of you, my dear," she said warmly and pulled back just enough to see her eldest daughter's face.

"Thank you, mother," Emma responded with a smile. "It is quite an honor to catch the eye of the Duke and be invited to such an esteemed event."

"Yes, you've certainly made your father and me very proud. I am glad you agreed to go. I bet his son is just dashing and I hear he is excellent husband material," the older woman beamed.

"Mother, do not be so hasty. We do not yet know of his intentions towards me or why I was invited. Best not to get our hopes up so soon," Emma said with a soft smile barely hiding her own excitement. Her life as a Count's daughter came with many perks and she wanted for naught, but she'd be loathed to admit that the idea of being a Dutchess was not appealing.

"We shall see. I have no doubt that he wishes to ask for your hand. The way he gazed upon you at your own ball, why you should have seen it!" her mother exclaimed. "Even I noticed the way he seemed so taken with you."

Emma blushed furiously and pulled back to hide her face. "Stop it, mother. You'll make me blush harder."

"Dear girl, you are far too modest. You are beautiful," her mother smiled and finally released her hold and gave Emma's arm a light squeeze.

"Yes, beautiful indeed," Helena sneered as she walked into the room. "I can scarcely imagine why a gangly strawhaired girl such as yourself has caught the eye of the Duke's son who is nearly a decade older than you. You are but eighteen moons and I am twenty two, it should be me who is going to this ball."

"Enough! Do not insult your sister for your own shortcomings." Their mother sighed. "We have been over this many times, Helena. He did not attend your ball. He attended Emma's. His interest in you was nonexistent but he is interested in Emma. Do not ruin this for us. We need him to help our people," her mother said.

"Yes, the measly dirty peasant people who cannot take care of themselves," Helena waved her hand around in the air.

"It is our duty to the kingdom to take care of them," their mother said. "You know this and if it weren't for your selfishness maybe I would have insisted you go to the ball since you are older, but alas that is not the case. You are the most selfish woman in the entire municipality."

Emma watched as Helena huffed at her mother's words and stormed off. Her eyes were drawn to her best friend, Calen, who stood in the doorway with a smug smile upon his face as he laughed at her sister. He was her nurse maid's son and they had always got on rather well. Growing up together he had become more like a brother and so often loved to tell Emma how right he was. In fact, he had told her that the Duke's son fancied her. Emma knew he felt very pleased with himself now.

Calen pushed off the doorframe and began walking towards her. "Ah, and who knows everything?" he asked with a smirk. "Come, tell me," he continued.

"Don't be such a wiseacre," Emma chastised him halfheartedly swatting his arm as he came nearer. "That arrogance will get you into trouble someday."

The tall blonde young man simply laughed heartily and hugged his much shorter friend. "I am happy for you. I happen to know exactly what the Duke's son's intentions are and I must say…" he looked around and then bent to whisper in her ear. "They aren't of the purest kind," he almost giggled.

Emma slapped his arm. "Why Calen!" she shrieked. "Oh you!" she pushed him away and her face reddened. "I will not bed him simply because he wishes it. I am a lady. He will have to court me well before that stage of our relationship should there be one."

"Of course, Em," he smiled with a slight snicker and he took his leave.

Her servant maids came in soon after and immediately began helping her into her corset and stockings. Her dress was a deep emerald green in color with intricate bead work on the bodice while the bottom flowed flawlessly in a small symmetrical circle around her ankles. It showed just enough of her bosom that would be deemed appropriate. Her hair was swooped up into a high bun with strands falling in specific places.

Her mother returned shortly after her shoes were placed on her feet carrying a small leather pouch. The smile on her face was one of happiness. "I want you to have this," she said softly. "It was my grandmother's."

She took out an emerald pendant necklace with pearl accents and tied it around Emma's slender neck. Emma traced her fingers over the precious jewelry gently. "It's beautiful," she gasped. Her mother smiled and helped her put the matching earing in.

"You are ready," she said and Emma turned to face her.

,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸-*-,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸

Emma stepped from the carriage with the squire's help and carefully set her dress down. She was overwhelmed by the sheer majesty of the Highland architecture that made up the Duke's home. She followed the page up the marble stairs and into a large foyer adorned in magnificent fabrics and ornaments where she waited. "And now, introducing the daughter of Count and Countessa Swan of the Westlands, Lady Emma Swan," she heard and the large brass doors opened for her. Applause welcomed her as she made her way down the marble stairs that lead to the grand ball room. Everyone stared at her and she gave her best smile.

It was well after dinner and into the more sociable events of the evening when Emma began to mingle about as best she could for only knowing a few of the other nobles. "Lady Swan," a deep voice stole her attention away from Lady Trinket. A man in his late-twenties bowed and offered her his arm. "Would you be so kind as to join me on a brief walk?"

Green eyes fell upon a handsome young man just taller than Calen with thick wavy brown hair that fell just above his jaw. Facial hair adorned the sides of his face, under his chin, and just above his lip but was extremely short and well groomed. His dark eyes bore into her sending a chill down her spine.

"I am sorry, do I know you?" she asked politely.

"No, but I am your host and hostess' son," he replied with a small laugh.

She blushed profusely. "Forgive me, your grace," she said looping her arm through his.

He shook his head, his curly brown hair bouncing around his temples and his eyes full of mirth. "Think nothing of it, Lady Swan," he replied leading her into the gardens.

"Emma, please, your grace," she offered with a shy smile.

"Then you must call me Demetrius," he replied.

The gardens, like the rest of their lavish home, were just as embellished and wondrous. Emma allowed her fingers to trail along the leaves of the shrubbery as they approached a fountain. He sat down and wiped a spot for her so she could do the same. "You know, I never did care much for such events," he commented. "I often escape to the gardens," he added.

"I can see why," Emma spoke softly. "It is beautiful."

"As are you," he stated and when the blonde's cheeks reddened he smiled. "I am sorry to be so forward, it is only that you caught my eye from across the ballroom and I simply had to know you," he replied and slipped his hand through hers.

Emma couldn't explain it but she felt an odd sense that somehow he was meant to be in her life and that knowledge as odd as it was made her comfortable. When they returned to the crowded ballroom Emma's green eyes fell upon a deep amber colored pair that seemed to peer into her very soul. She felt the breath rush from her lungs and lightheadedness washed over her. Her eyes never left those orbs as she allowed Demetrius to lead her. When they finally stopped she was face to face with the beautiful woman whose eyes met hers from across the room. "Lady Swan, this is Lady Sarah Mills of the Highlands, my dearest friend," he introduced her.

The woman was the most beautiful creature she had ever seen with olive toned skin and warm inviting eyes. Her golden brown hair was pulled up into a swooping bun at the base of her neck and long tendrils fell around her face resting on her exposed bosom. Her dress was a deep maroon and her lips were colored to match.

For Emma's part she managed to extend her hand to the beauty in front of her. "A pleasure," she spoke hesitantly. An energy shot through her as their hands touched and a gasp emitted from her throat.

"The pleasure… is mine," the woman's velvety voice flitted to Emma's ears and made her knees weak. She clutched Demetrius' arm a little tighter feeling off balance. The brunette's delicate hand never left hers and if the blonde were honest, she never wanted it to.

"Pardon me," Emma began slowly. She was completely memorized by the beauty in front of her. "But you are gorgeous."

Sarah smiled and slipped her hand from Emma's grasp. The blonde instantly missed the warmth. "As are you, my lady," she spoke.

"Please, call me Emma."

Sarah tilted her head to the side. "Have you been to the gardens? They are simply magical."

Emma nodded. "Demetrius took me to the fountain. It is lovely."

The brunette turned to her friend. "May I take her further into the gardens, your grace?" she asked.

"Of course," Demetrius replied. "Would you like my company?" he wondered.

Sarah shook her head with a smile and took Emma's hand once more leading her outside. Sarah easily navigated her way around until they lost sight of the fountain and could no longer hear the festivities. "How do you know the garden so well?" Emma inquired.

"I am a house servant," Sarah replied. "I serve the Duchess, however, Demetri and I have been friends since we were young. He treats me as his equal. Always has," she spoke candidly. "He is a kind man."

"Yes," Emma nodded. "He seems to be."

"May I ask you something?" Sarah asked turning to her when they finally stopped walking. They were among a glorious rose garden where thousands of different roses were in bloom in a large variety of colors. Sarah watched Emma lean against the large oak tree in the center of the garden.

"Of course," Emma smiled in reply letting her arms rest across her stomach.

"Do you fancy him?" Sarah's voice had a hint of hesitation or nervousness, though Emma could not tell which one.

"He is very handsome," Emma admitted. "Anyone would fancy him."

"But do you?" Sarah asked softly.

The blonde sighed and let her eyes take in her surroundings. "I am a noble. I have a duty to my house and to my people to do what is best for them regardless of how I feel," Emma finally supplied as an answer. "If you are asking me if I could love him, I do not know that answer. I suppose in time I would come to care for him, but I do not know if I could ever love him the way he would deserve."

"You have an honest heart," Sarah spoke gently.

"Do you love him?" Emma tilted her head; she was trying to understand the basis of the other woman's questions.

"He is like a brother to me, I love him, but I am not in love with him. I could never be what he needs and it would never be allowed even if I was."

Emma nodded and looked up at the sky through the tree branches. The stars sparkled in the endless abyss above. The wind blew softly lifting pieces of the brunette's hair and carrying her scent to the blonde. Emma's eyes closed as she breathed in the fresh apple scent. She felt a jolt of energy as the brunette's delicate hand brushed against hers lightly before grasping it. Her eyes slowly opened. Sarah was looking at her intently, her eyes a darker honey color. When their gazes fell upon each other all breath rushed from their lungs and their chests heaved in short bursts.

Emma leaned farther into the sapling as Sarah leaned forward and braced her hands against the trunk. Eyes traveled from lips to eyes and back to lips. Emma could feel the other woman's sweet warm breath against her skin and she braced herself with her hands falling back to the tree. Plump soft lips met a smooth pliable mouth in a chaste kiss and a pleasant warmth traveled through their bodies.

Both women pulled back. Sarah looked away while Emma touched her finger tips to her lips. The blonde found herself imaging doing the action again despite the confusion she felt. When she looked up the brunette was pacing in front of her. Emma reached out to her with a questioning yet confused gaze.

"I am sorry," Sarah whispered softly. She walked a few feet away and then back. "I did not mean to do that, but I…" she stopped and looked at Emma hesitantly. "I wanted to since the moment I saw you at your ball." Emma's brows furrowed and she opened her mouth only to shut it. She hadn't remembered seeing the woman and surely she could never forget if she had. "I went with Demetri as his companion and when I saw you I nearly collapsed you were so beautiful. Somehow, I had to have you," she whispered.

The blonde blinked. "So Demetrius was never interested in me?"

Sarah shook her head. "No, he was, but he knew how I felt, inviting you here was a way to see if you felt the same," she replied and finally looked at her. "When he brought you to me he knew which is why he let us leave him," she explained.

Emma shivered under the intensity of the gaze; a sudden warmth spreading across her skin. "What is happening?" she asked as her heart beat increased drastically. She placed a hand over her breast willing it to still in fear it may beat right out of her chest.

"Do you believe in true love, Emma?"


End file.
